Analytics Aficionado Gifts

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

"Some good predictive analytics software would have really helped us avoid this mess..."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

"We tried crowdsourcing the data, but the crowd turned into an angry mob and threw bogus data at us."

'You know when people have been good or bad - you'd be perfect for our data mining team!'

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Sheep Ledger

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"When it comes to online marketing, I'm puzzled."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

Aggression/Security