Analogue Thinker Pillows

"Totally! The school computers all crashed! We had to use our own brains all day."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I don't look at it as right and wrong, I look at it as two different strategies with two different outcomes."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

The New Age Dentist.

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

'One day, this will all be your fault.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Worker Bee of the Month

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"Bear in mind, George, that even an experimental physicist must at times be reasonable."

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

'Oh, Ben is a good man...like stem cells are good, but I am looking for embryonic stem cells.'

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

"I'm Miss Jones, your History-As-I-See-It teacher."

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'