Amicability Appreciator T-Shirts

'We weren't amicable, but our attorneys certainly were.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Mr Metrosexual.

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Reign Man

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

The Return of Tannhauser to Venusberg

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"We're out of empanadas!"

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Put another minnow on my line!"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

A visit to a Victorian Painter.

"Well, as usual, I'm toasty. . ."

"I'll be out in the great world, wearing may hats."

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"Who's idea was it to serve dressed-mutton?"

Modern Furniture/Sculptures Object to Old Fashioned Chair.

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

A Crossbow

'I want one of you to march over there and ask 'Wallflower Woman' to dance!'

"My design aesthetic is ostentatious minimalism."

"Frankly, he's a lousy sober."