American States Gifts

Alabama, The Lizard State

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Nation-building never works."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Remote control pirate bully

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"You're such a good listener."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"