American History Gifts

"Are you sure everyone will know we're being ironic?"

"Damn long-winded Jefferson."

Richard Nixon.

Now that we've agreed on the loopholes, what should the tax laws be?

'If they had it to do it all over again' 'We'll sell you Manhattan Island for $24 worth of trinkets. However, the sales tax will be $24 trillion.'

" ... and put your cell phones on vibrate."

Crack in Liberty Bell held together by a plaster.

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

'List the constitutional amendments in any order? Hmmm ... 4th, 10th ... Ummmm ... 6th, 8th, 5th, ... '

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

"We tried to warn you!"

'Father, I plead the 5th Amendment...'

'Someone will have to row.'

'There goes civilization as we know it.'

Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'

Settlers see sign that says 'No Settling'.

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

"Anything else to declare, gentlemen?"

Ron and Nancy.

"Look at the bright side. This could be the answer to our labor shortage."

'It says, 'White man come and we're screwed.''

'It's America's birthday so I'm baking a cake!'

"Punxsutawney Phil can also predict the political climate."

'Let's see now, if one score equals twenty years...'

"Make sure people remember Lewis and Clark and Scherling!"

"Just remember. . . one if by land, two if by sea. . .one if by land, two if by sea. . .Dang!"

Ulysses S. Grant

Where Washington's chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.

'I told you this whole 'King of the wild frontier' thing would go straight to his head!'

They worked out a compromise.

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

Thomas Jefferson

"When we circle the wagons, you don't have to keep signalling."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

April Fool's Day On Mount Rushmore.