American History Gifts

"Are you sure everyone will know we're being ironic?"

"Damn long-winded Jefferson."

Richard Nixon.

Now that we've agreed on the loopholes, what should the tax laws be?

'If they had it to do it all over again' 'We'll sell you Manhattan Island for $24 worth of trinkets. However, the sales tax will be $24 trillion.'

'Father, I plead the 5th Amendment...'

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

Crack in Liberty Bell held together by a plaster.

'List the constitutional amendments in any order? Hmmm ... 4th, 10th ... Ummmm ... 6th, 8th, 5th, ... '

"We tried to warn you!"

'Someone will have to row.'

'There goes civilization as we know it.'

"Make sure people remember Lewis and Clark and Scherling!"

"Punxsutawney Phil can also predict the political climate."

'Let's see now, if one score equals twenty years...'

"Just remember. . . one if by land, two if by sea. . .one if by land, two if by sea. . .Dang!"

'It says, 'White man come and we're screwed.''

Ron and Nancy.

"Look at the bright side. This could be the answer to our labor shortage."

Settlers see sign that says 'No Settling'.

'It's America's birthday so I'm baking a cake!'

Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

The reason John Hancock wasn't allowed to sign payroll checks.

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

"When we circle the wagons, you don't have to keep signalling."

"If I'd lived back then, I would have signed it, too."

Little known fact #244: Cholera was not the #1 cause of death for children on the Oregon Trail

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

Thomas Jefferson

George Washington

'I can't believe we didn't think of it before: The plain is really like a giant golf course...'

'We're gonna need to be a tad bit quicker the next time we circle the wagons, Joe...'

Bush's brain explodes.