American History Enthusiast Gifts

"You're on a what?!"

"Can I borrow a pen?"

'It says, 'White man come and we're screwed.''

Lincoln's Gettysburg address.

Barack Obama

'Let's reward this 'Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happening Hotties' part.

"Four score and seven? Typical politician. Always trying to obfuscate the numbers."

"We're having a test on the first Thanksgiving tomorrow, Sir, and I'd be thankful for the answers."

"Why don't you get on the bandwagon and write about John QUINCY Adams?"

'Either my wide is making supper of Custer's coming.'

Hearts oh his countrymen: G. Washington...FIRST...ETC

John Adams

Andrew Jackson

Cigar store Indian being shot by gun store soldier.

Gerald Ford

George Bush Snr.

"If Mr. Washington really is the father of this country, why has he refused to submit a paternity test?"

Sally Fairfax, who rejected George Washington's marriage proposal: 'I could have married the father of our country, you know!'

Andrew Johnson

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

Benjamin Franklin: 'An old man in the house is a good thing.'

Assasination of President James Garfield

Actually, it wasn't my idea to dump the tea -- It was Mr. Starbucks.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"I think he was a celebrity."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Southwark Fair.

The International and May Day Terrorism

Cut!

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

That's What Happens