American Literature Buff Gifts

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

Voltaire

Blue Stockings

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

German Expressionist Breakfast

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"Well, we needed the rain."

Don Quixote

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Oh, this old thing?"