Amateur Swimmer Pillows

"Ever since he got those goggles ..."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

Becalmed yachts

Lapdogs

A mother wearing an inflatable duck leads her three children wearing inflatable ducks into the water

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

'I've never done this before.'

The synchronized shower event.

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

"A little high and inside."

"You've been saying we're getting an inground pool since we got married, and I gave up."

'Want to go for a dip?'

Rip Taylor Tide

No petting in the pool!

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"