Amateur Ornithologists T-Shirts

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

Bird plucking a cello

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

Exciting potato bugs.

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

“If they were huggers like us they would have evolved useful arms.”

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

"I caught a snapping turtle. I hope you're not sitting on him."

"Would you like flies with that order?"

"He gives me the creeps. I Think it's love."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'Sorry I'm late.'

I admit, this discovery does seem to support the asteroid theory.

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

Really? You don't mind if I ask her out?

'Music hall for insects'

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

Paper Wasp.

Insect grammar. Termite. Termitier. Termitiest.

'Hang on a moment! This one didn't die of natural causes! He was shot through the heart with a 0.3mm sniper's bullet!'

Reptilian trauma.

'I'll try the poop of the day.'

The social isolation of the entomologist...

'Listen, I'm flattered, but it's safer for you if we just stay friends...'

"Don't feel bad, son. The people are only screaming because they're such big fans."