Amateur Firefighter Pillows

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

"In a late breaking news story, our TV station is on fire."

California fires and Coronavirus

"We should have stopped these green agitators from making predictions long before their predictions came true."

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'Do you have to bring your work home with you?'

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

Heroes

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

Grey Squirrels Out Competing Red Squirrel for Food.

Fire Brigade Chiefs Annual Dinner

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

"My kind of course."

Dog prank

"I got my wish!"

"Harolds been keeping busy tinkering in the backyard." (woman on the phone talking while husband is in the backyard building a rocket ship)

Bear Traps.

"At this point I think your computer problems needs more than a fan."

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

Workaholic and alcoholic