Amateur Excavator T-Shirts

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Now what?'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Moving in

"Yeah, that's right. I'm the sandman. Where did you think I was getting my sand all these years?"

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"...it's another metal detector."

'Handyman's Special'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Reinventing the Wheel

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"I started out with a molehill, then I just kept going."

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Optician and the PI.

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

An association for the advancement of science on an excursion.

"Whoa, I guess dad and mom didn’t send Scraps off to live on a farm after all."

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.