Amateur Chefs With A Twist Pillows

'Doctor said to burn more calories.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Too much cilantro

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

Quartet of chefs.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Cook in the cookery section.

Cat Cooking Bird.

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Recipes.

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

'The casserole didn't make it.'

French bread

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'It's her signature dish.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"