Amateur Bookies Pillows

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Destination casinos...

Post Game Day Betting.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

Tonto Casino.

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'