Amateur Armchair Critic Pillows

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

Filling the Missile Gap

"Just the slippers is fine!"

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rodin's Irish Judge

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

Comfort zone

If knee could talk: "Please sit back down."

Editor

"Justin isn't sleeping, he's giving his brain a rest."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

Art is a cruel mistress.

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

"Of course it's depressing. It's supposed to be depressing. It's a tragedy."

Ezra Pound

'...And our extended forecast calls for one #!@*!! thing after another.'

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'