Alternative Thinker Gifts

"I'm Miss Jones, your History-As-I-See-It teacher."

"Well Albert, this certainly explains your unshakable conviction that the earth is flat."

If We Did Other Things The Way That We Vote

Flat Mars Society

"Do you guys want Big Government to tell you what kind of marijuana to smoke."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Suit with a wardrobe of men.

The New Age Dentist.

"Honestly larry, I don't want a bronze Adonis. I much prefer a burnt umber twiglet"

VOTE: 'All my life I've taken the alternate route, but I've arrived ar this point never-the-less...'

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"I am having an alternative Christmas."

"Hang on, I've just thought of a plan B."

"Yes, we blieve that the earth is flat..."

"I'm smart, but not A, B, or C smart."

The International and May Day Terrorism

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Cactus seats.

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Things are looking up!"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

"Hold on - the ref is checking the rule book."

"Those taxpayers are real extremists."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."