Alternative Seeker Gifts

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Remote control pirate bully

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

The fate of the emigrant

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

The experienced backpacker.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Easter Island legs

Tourists

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Beach con-man.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Desert Island Meals.

'Cannonball!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Pirate

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.