Alternative Rock Gifts

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

Fuzz - the bass player auditions.

Michael Stipe

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Vegetarian Birds

Punk Reindeer

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

'Do you know who this is, Little Spike?'

Homing Beatnik

Connect This, Woo-Woos

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Morrissey

Emo

Pink Floyd

Must be one of those underground bands.

"So obvious, there all the time"

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'They're playing our song.'

"It's getting harder and harder to be different around here."

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

Venus Fly Trap

"Now, that's what I call a fashion statement!"

Steve Hackett

'In my day, son, men didn't have rings through their noses until after they were married.'

Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson.