Alternative Fashion T-Shirts

"Now, that's what I call a fashion statement!"

'Don't mention my hair. I won't mention your pants.'

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

'In my day, son, men didn't have rings through their noses until after they were married.'

Monks/Everything I do seems to annoy him

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

"Where did we go wrong?"

'I don't rate black lipstick - liquorice is less messy and more flavoursome.'

"True goths don't take the summer off, Brandon."

"Nice farmer tattoo."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Punk Reindeer

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

The Mainstream

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

REPENT! Get back to nature

Punkins

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"You've got night fever."

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

Tough Teddies

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"I beg to differ."

Chippunks

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

'After we had him declawed he started taking on a tougher persona to compensate.'

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Homing Beatnik