Alternative Fashion Pillows

"Now, that's what I call a fashion statement!"

'Don't mention my hair. I won't mention your pants.'

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

'In my day, son, men didn't have rings through their noses until after they were married.'

Monks/Everything I do seems to annoy him

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

"Where did we go wrong?"

'I don't rate black lipstick - liquorice is less messy and more flavoursome.'

"True goths don't take the summer off, Brandon."

"Nice farmer tattoo."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Punk Reindeer

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

The Mainstream

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

REPENT! Get back to nature

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"You've got night fever."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

Tough Teddies

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

"I beg to differ."

Chippunks

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Like, Real Gone...

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

Angel with a halo nose piercing.

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Homing Beatnik