Alternative Appearance Advocate Gifts

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

dog vs UFO...

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Golfing Accident

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

Soft Spot.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'