Alternate Reality Thinker T-Shirts

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"He gets easily abstracted."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Large, wrinkly

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Higher wisdom...

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

How to get from A to Z. Right brain versus left brain.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

Prison for people who lack imagination.

Instant art

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'I call it cubicilism'

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

The New Age Dentist.

Decision time

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Seated man whose head is an abstract sculpture.

The Polygon family at home

Man at door of Think Tank sees signs Closed Now a Thought Tank.

"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."