Alphabetti Aficionado T-Shirts

'She's just seeing if the alphabetti spaghetti's ready.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Stephen Spender.

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Gunter Grass

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Noel Coward.

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

"I really look forward to this evening's walk."

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Ironing Punctuation

Borgias holding a 'come as you wish to go' party

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.