Alphabet Burping Champion T-Shirts

How can I compete? The guy can burp the alphabet

"You say you want me to do well in school. I thought you'd be more excited that I can burp the alphabet!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"'A', I'm adorable."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'There seems to be no end to his talent.'

'Think Basics.'

How some bird species determine pecking order.

'You misspelled 'Gonna' Verl. . . there's two 'n's' in it.'

"How come people die in alphabetical order...?"

Diner. Menu. You overcooked the alphabet soup. The letters aren't holding their shape. We'll just say it's "cursive style"!

'Alphabet soup. This isn't nutrition. It's education.'

'Hey! We can play Scrabble while we eat!'

"I've suffered from O.C.D. myself. You should really call it C.D.O. keep all the letters in alphabetical order."

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

Mom! Billy's censoring me!