Alpha Wave Enthusiast Mugs

"My problem has always been an overabundance of alpha waves."

The next wave

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

Macho man body building club.

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

"Wow! These special effects are incredible."

'Okay, alpha doggie, go delegate someone to fetch.'

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

See Your Aura $5. . .Smell Your Aura

Moses during his Part The Waves Tour 400bc

'Celestial music, my eye. We were just picking up some FM station in Vienna.'

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

'Well, Tom, everyone suffers from delusions from time to time.'

VINYL HISS

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

'...and now I've told you all the ways you can contact us at the BBC, I'm afraid we have no time left for the programme...'

-

Aura Ashley - Mediumwear.

"That's right - I'm talking to you."

'Bummer, dude.'

Surfboarder reading.

Born leader

'If you think THIS is hot you should have been here in 1963!'

Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never ever be applied in the boudoir.

I'm announcing the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Movie-Watching for Alphas." Chapter One: The critics are all wrong

'I paint your aura...'

'But enough about me-let's talk about my aura.'

"Hot enough for you?"

"I don't care if you're an alpha male now! I'm still your mother and you'll do as you're told! Got it?!"

'It's a MEXICAN wave not an English one!'