Alpha Enthusiasts Mugs

In obedience school, he was the alpha male.

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"I started a collection!"

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Macho man body building club.

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

'Okay, alpha doggie, go delegate someone to fetch.'

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

The $68.00 comeback special

"To be an alpha male, little buddy, you've got to live like you've got nothing left to lose."

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

The Faith-Based Family

"That's right - I'm talking to you."

Born leader

'I would definitely say I'm a 'type A' personality.'

Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never ever be applied in the boudoir.

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

"He was the lifeguard at the gene pool."

"That stabbing pain in your abs -- that's your body telling you it'd rather be on the beach."

"I don't care if you're an alpha male now! I'm still your mother and you'll do as you're told! Got it?!"