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"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

"I am the Lord and I do not approve this message."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I said slime."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

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"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

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Bowling ball head.

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

Futuristic Teenagers.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

New Year 2020

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

A Kangermoo

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

Dog hides eyes as car turns into vet clinic.

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'