Ally T-Shirts

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

"I am the Lord and I do not approve this message."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"I said slime."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Futuristic Teenagers.

Labrador for sale

Bowling ball head.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

New Year 2020

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

"As your new President I shall govern by algorithm."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

A Kangermoo

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'