Allowance Jester Gifts

'Stay away from her.. she can go through your allowance fast.'

Dog walking Human.

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'I need enough for popcorn and a movie.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

"We're a happy team here Benson - let's try to keep it that way."

"Wow. Most colleagues I work with just use stress balls."

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'You'll get a new lease on life if your HMO will pay the rent.'

"I'd like to put the past behind me, but the IRS won't let me."

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"