Allowance Aficionado Gifts

My furlough is finally over. What a rip-off that was! It's just the economy, mom. Everyone has to sacrifice. Oh, really? Then you won't mind not getting allowance this week. What's with the face? The economy just trickled down on me!

'May I have $50? I want to start my nest egg.'

'Yeah, I use ATMs all the time, but I refer to them as 'Mom' and 'Dad'.'

"Oops...nothing but IOUs I never paid back!"

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'I need enough for popcorn and a movie.'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

'We offer a comprehensive healthcare plan, paid vacation, and a generous pension. Unfortunately, we can no longer afford to pay you a salary.'

Hello, Mary Popmedia. Who do you think you are? A citizen journalist. Ha. You have no training, no experience. What gives you the right? The first amendment! Or is it the second amendment? I have the experience to look up the answer.

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

"I think I should warn you that the flip side of our generous bonus-incentive program is capital punishment."

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

'List the constitutional amendments in any order? Hmmm ... 4th, 10th ... Ummmm ... 6th, 8th, 5th, ... '