Allowance Master Gifts

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

Dispute over pocket money

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

"You're a Democrat. Aren't you supposed to be liberal with money?"

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

'She won't budge on the allowance, but she did present me an 800 page handbook detailing the perks.'

"Those are my money managers."

"I told you not to borrow so much pocket money..."

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."

"She's either lost her phone or she wants money."

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

'Without an increase in my allowance, I'll never be able to pay for the addition on my toy box.'

'Even with free medical, dental, room and board, I'm still not making it on this allowance.'

'A raise in your allowance? I'll have to go and change into my suit before I can answer that.'

'of course I know the value of a dollar...That's why I asked for ten of them.'

'I have reason to believe that my sister is getting a bigger allowance than me. I think you and mom should be more forthcoming and transparent.'

'You don't get an allowance because you don't have any pockets.'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'Yeah, I use ATMs all the time, but I refer to them as 'Mom' and 'Dad'.'