Allergen Adventurer T-Shirts

'You're allergic to tongue depressors!'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

The Wet Fly Man is a more active creature.

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

'The next time something follows you home, you have my permission to go straight to Timmy's house for a sleepover.'

'Oops. I set my auto pilot to go to Saratoga ... New York.'

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

'For a moment there, I thought he was my kind of man, drinking doubles...'

'Well, this is a first- you seem to be allergic to distilled water.'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

"We just got back from Alaska, where we saw the cutest little glaciers."

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"Here's Pollen!"

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

"These won't cure your allergy, but they'll send it a message."

'Do you have any of the perfume that makes me look like Angelina Jolie?'

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

Wheelchair lifts woman to top of library bookshelf.

I'll try searching 'Disabled Dining'.

"Yep - peanut-free, Ebola-free, gluten-free. That'll be $74."

"Do you feel we are making progress in overcoming your fears?"

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"