Aliens Gifts

"Hold that thought. I have to go take a number five."

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'

Cowboy Probe

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

"Take us to your vodka."

"I have a feeling they are going to treat us like dirt."

"Take another one - I blonked."

"What? You've never been to Waffle House? I guess it is kind of a regional thing."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Without a green card, many super heroes from distant planets end up fighting grime.'

"You're not from around here are you?"

'And tonight our pundits will be debating the issue, 'do extra terrestrials exist?'

'I know we're on planet earth but what planet are you on?'

'Hi - We hear that you people just LOVE diversity'

'Hi, I'm calling to check to see if 'alien attack' is covered on my auto insurance...'

'Sir, I think the cost may be somewhat higher than the quote I gave you, over the phone.'

'This is my new friend Roger - he's a real down-to-earth kind of guy.'

Captain Pointy No.5 - Skeptical about aliens

Help us meet our goal and we won't destroy your planet.

'Will the results of this probe be sent to my gastroenterologist?'

Universe Challenge

"My dog? Why no, Miss, space aliens ate my homework!"

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'Hi. We're economic refugees ? take us to your welfare department.'

'I think he wants you to pull his finger Mr President'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"It's seven billion life forms talking about themselves."

"Nessie's been abducted by aliens."

'Doctor, before you meet the press to explain your theory about space aliens communicating with us, maybe you should take the tin foil off of your head.'

The arrival of aliens.

'Of course we speak English, Its the language of choice for species bent on galactic domination.'

'Something went terribly wrong between design and development.'

'If I could have just a moment of your time...on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your experience on our planet?'