Aliens Gifts

"Hold that thought. I have to go take a number five."

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'

Cowboy Probe

"Take us to your vodka."

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

"I have a feeling they are going to treat us like dirt."

"Take another one - I blonked."

"What? You've never been to Waffle House? I guess it is kind of a regional thing."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'Without a green card, many super heroes from distant planets end up fighting grime.'

"You're not from around here are you?"

'And tonight our pundits will be debating the issue, 'do extra terrestrials exist?'

'Hi - We hear that you people just LOVE diversity'

'I know we're on planet earth but what planet are you on?'

'Sir, I think the cost may be somewhat higher than the quote I gave you, over the phone.'

'This is my new friend Roger - he's a real down-to-earth kind of guy.'

'Hi, I'm calling to check to see if 'alien attack' is covered on my auto insurance...'

'Will the results of this probe be sent to my gastroenterologist?'

Captain Pointy No.5 - Skeptical about aliens

"My dog? Why no, Miss, space aliens ate my homework!"

Universe Challenge

"It's seven billion life forms talking about themselves."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'I think he wants you to pull his finger Mr President'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'Hi. We're economic refugees ? take us to your welfare department.'

'Something went terribly wrong between design and development.'

"I have to know how it's done."

How life on Earth really got its start.

"I know he's not that much to look at but you should see him tango."

'Doctor, before you meet the press to explain your theory about space aliens communicating with us, maybe you should take the tin foil off of your head.'

"Nessie's been abducted by aliens."

"Let's stop and ask directions at Alpha Centauri, I said, but oh no, Mister clever stalks knows the way alright!"

'Of course we speak English, Its the language of choice for species bent on galactic domination.'