Alien Advocate Gifts

"Should've thought of that before we left. Next rest stop is 4.2 light-years away."

'Know any good lawn care services?'

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

Alien surrendering to huge telescope because it looks like a gun

Welcome to Mars: 'As long as the damn thing can only see 3D I figure we're in the clear!'

Green Lives Matter

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

dog vs UFO...

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Golfing Accident

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

If first impressions count for anything, this doesn't look good!