Alien Adversary Pillows

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Professor Tulp meets his match

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

'You do Botox?'

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'IQ shortage, help wanted.'

'It's not fair! I wanna save the Earth from asteroids and aliens! All daddy wants to do is sell 1,000 shares of stock!'

Moon Souvenirs

UFO Society: Abducted for Lunch

Cover story: Plant World.

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

"Harry, I really think you ought to go to the doctor."

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

"We're having to go further than EVER to get the right people!"

Curiosity discovers life on Mars

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"There was this thing in the sky, and they shot me with this dart, and I couldn't move, and they did some experiments and then they left! I swear!!"

"We're under attack!"

"Houston - we are landing in the crater now. . . on first viewing, this planet looks uninhabited. . ."

Gawk

Alien with flying spaceships on wall instead of flying ducks

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'