Alcohol Pillows

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

'C'mon guy. You know I can't serve miners.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"...and this is Sister Tia Maria"

"He's full of duty free liquor - should I declare him?"

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

His and Hers In Case of Emergency

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

'I was made Professor Emeritus before my time.'

"I love our litte chats, Jack, but you've got to start drinking again."

"I forget to drink."

"Medical Wine."

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

'We really need to get a new rescue dog. This one keeps helping himself to the brandy!'

"So, you've been out drinking again!" "What makes you say that?" "You forgot your wheelchair in the pub again!"

"Is that you or the beer talking?"

"I think this is a red."

Scotch and soda on a drip.

The truth behind Rudolph's red nose...

'That's one thing about him. He knows when to stop.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"I actually prefer same sex - as long as it doesn't involve sex."

Drunk man walking St Bernard dog with alcohol barrel round its neck.

Join me in a beer?

"A bloody Mary, Chuck-weapons grade."

Well-aren't you going to ask me if I'm over eighteen?

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Al's Bar, All You Can Drink $375.

'No, it isn't a 'buy one get one free offer'. You're just seeing double!'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'

'I reckon it must be Happy Hour!'

Tenant who has finished off his landlord's expensive liqueur