Airport Strategist Pillows

Airport Security. It takes longer getting through security, but by wearing all my clothes, I don't have to pay to check a bag!

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.

Excess Baggage: Kenny beats the airlines' hated add-on fee system...for the moment.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Oog has invented the organization chart.

Airport

Mass Travel

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

"Let the epicurean feast commence."

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

Sidewalk the game

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

The Muscle in Brussels

Kennedy Airport

Now Arriving

"We're down from 50,000 cases a day to two."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

"I understand O'Hara had to re-route some of their flights today."

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

'That flight is totally booked, but for $100 I can arrange for you to ride in the lavatory.'

"I always get stuck in the wrong line."