Airport Stories Pillows

'I couldn't afford a physical but the TSA guy at the airport seemed to think I was fine.'

Airlines

Airport Security.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Mass Travel

Airport

Rubbish Carousel

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Did you pack your own bags?"

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

The Problem with the TSA

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Pirates on holiday.

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Flights suspended snowstorm

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

"I understand O'Hara had to re-route some of their flights today."