Airport Staff Pillows

"OK, head on down then take the second lane on the right, hang a left then first right, up ahead is the runway. You can't miss it."

Airport - You are here ... Your luggage is here.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

"I get my best ideas in airports, peeking at other people's laptops."

'On behalf of Charter airlines may I apologise again for the delay while the plane is being built.'

'Dang! Crashed again! Oh well... I've got to get to my flight.'

'What do you mean you left the keys on your dresser?!'

Believe me VHT=003. You are too low!!

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

'Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest.'

'Your Ebola test came back negative, but your stress ulcer needs treatment.'

'Where's air traffic control?'

Airline Mergers.

Going through the wringer at airport security

Hi Jack! - Plane passengers confuse greeting.

Honest Airport: Cancelled, On Schedule, Delayed.

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'

"Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest."

"You're free to go, sir. But, seriously, I'd get that prostate looked at."

Baggage Arrivals - Lone suitcase, woman crying 'Oh Darling! It's been so long...'

"I always get stuck in the wrong line."

"You did say you wanted an earlier flight."

'Well, could you describe the bags?'

A passenger on a plane watches as a truck labeled "Lostluggage.com" drives away from the plane he is on.

Santa Claus waiting at an airport's baggage claim for his sack of presents.

Arrivals: 'Check out our web site at www.air.arr'Departures: 'Check out our web site at www.air.dep'

'I'm sorry sir, you can only have two carrion items.'

"Well at least it was on time"

Bag lady at carousel.

"I installed a cam in my luggage to see if it's having a better vacation than I am."

"Good god man! You're telling me you lost my luggage on a 12 second flight?!"

'I hear you work for the airlines. I bet you'd love to know about all of my horrific flying experiences...'

TSA Security

'You're a bit low on approach, Flight 203!'

'I'm afraid it's gingivitis.'