Airport Regulars Pillows

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'What zip code are we in now?'

UK border controls relaxed.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Limerick Airport

Airport

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Fish Boarding

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Tui River Cruise

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

"You are going home to Quarantine? What a lovely name for a daughter!"

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"Fight or flight?"

'Now, that's just great: We're flightless again...'

Rip-off Cabbie

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

Flights suspended snowstorm