Airport Antic Appreciator Gifts

'Not so fast, Louie -- this may be a trap...'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Airport Security.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Airport

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

Leonard Nimoy

December 17, 1903, The Wright Brothers invent the first hub airport at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"At this time boarding first will be all first class passengers, a.k.a. the more important people on this flight."

Sue Perkins

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

Balding eagle looking back through his yearbook.

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

Now Arriving

Kennedy Airport

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"We're down from 50,000 cases a day to two."

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

"I understand O'Hara had to re-route some of their flights today."

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'That flight is totally booked, but for $100 I can arrange for you to ride in the lavatory.'