Airplane Food Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'm not going anywhere special. I just really like airplane food"

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Airplane Mode.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Fresh pepper?"

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

"How many bags to check in, sir?" "Only one piece of hand luggage." (case in the shape of a giraffe).

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

'With my frequent flyer miles I was able to get a seat upgrade from the luggage compartment.'

Asian Adventure Vacations

"Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the safety presentation. It's the only way you'll know the difference between the harmless scarlet kingsnake and the deadly Eastern coral snake."

'As the plane is about to crash, we're offering passengers a complimentary drink.'

'How's the steak, sir?'

Flying 'business class'.

"Would you like a meal, Sir?"

Excess Baggage: At times the cheapest ticket deals leave a lot to be desired.

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."