Airline Satire Enthusiast Pillows

"We didn't drag you off the plane. That WAS your reward."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Vampire on a plane

"It's my helper trout!"

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

Cow Pilot.

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

Revealing Airport Security

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion is also a whoopee cushion."

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'