Air Travel Warrior Pillows

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

The Forever Stamp

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

'I think we have some stowaways.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'No! we're not lost! And I don't mind asking directions! I'll ask the next guy that walks pass!'

"You've got to be kidding. I finally start getting the hang of those traffic circles, and now this!"

Talking car "Are we there yet?"

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Honk if you're holy.

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

Road work next 15 years.

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

'Termites!'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

'Ecchh! Six weeks on the road! - Lousy food, lousy motels. . . but there's good, too. . . like heading back home.'

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

?50 speed sign

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

Tourists travel with a dog and cat on the roof.

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

'Oops. I set my auto pilot to go to Saratoga ... New York.'

Hitchhikers

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"