Air Travel Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Folks, the airline regrets the crash, but it will provide you a life jacket at one hundred dollars each.'

'What zip code are we in now?'

UK border controls relaxed.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

The World Wide Web.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'm on my way!'

Birds Following Witch.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Limerick Airport

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

She Persisted (But it was a Weekend)

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.

"How's my tripping you up?"

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'I take it you've never used an air taxi before.'

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"You are going home to Quarantine? What a lovely name for a daughter!"