Air Travel Aficionados T-Shirts

"No, this is correct - you're both in 28-B. We no longer offer individual seats."

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"I'm already suffering jet lag and I haven't gotten on the phone."

"Your luggage is 1 kg over, they'll be a charge for that

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"Recalculating route..."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Why Superman flies himself

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

'So, how was flight school?'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"I proclaim this sun-drenched tropical country a new tourist mecca, in the names of Consolidated Airways and the Peck & Smathers Advertising and Public Relations Company."

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'