Air Travel Aficionados T-Shirts

"No, this is correct - you're both in 28-B. We no longer offer individual seats."

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"I'm already suffering jet lag and I haven't gotten on the phone."

"Your luggage is 1 kg over, they'll be a charge for that

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Recalculating route..."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Why Superman flies himself

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'So, how was flight school?'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'

"I proclaim this sun-drenched tropical country a new tourist mecca, in the names of Consolidated Airways and the Peck & Smathers Advertising and Public Relations Company."

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'