Agoraphobia Humorist Pillows

A fortune is uncomfortable outside of its cookie

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"Bailiff."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Superhero with Acrophobia

"Guilty times infinity."

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

A Not So Grand Slam.

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

Cotton candy

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'Your first trial?'

Missile attending a 'Fear of flying course'

Employees Must Wash Hands

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

'What seems to be the problem?'

Sneeze

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

On the planet Clowny, they are afraid of us.