Aging Hero Pillows

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Did you remember my mints?"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Aging Support Group

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Old Karate Master

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I noticed a few browns."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

Baldness Facts

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

Middle Age Spread.

I once flew faster than a speeding bullet

Giant sandwich bags.