Agenda Alchemist T-Shirts

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Here you are, Simmons!'

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'Think outside the seed.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

Alcohol Ingredients

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"The subject of this never ending meeting was how to keep meetings short..."

"If there's no further old business, we'll move along to new business."

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."