Age-positive Person Pillows

I shrank another inch! Woo-hoo!

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

'60 is the new 40.'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'Perfect birthday party dear, but so it should be after the practice you've had over so many years.'

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

Man spots a grey hair in his beard

When did my internal clock go external?

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

"... Yes, the night is still young. Unfortunately, you're not."

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

If wisdom comes with age, I'm smarter than I look.

"The only way she can still be in her twenties is if her birthday is 29th February!"

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

'I'm not worried about ageism - I'm just keeping it real'

A faulty mirror.

'No, being forty is not the result of an aging disease.'

'At my age kiddo, I spend more time answering the call of Nature than the call of the Wild...'

'Methuselah never stops complaining - it's been 'age discrimination' since he was 600.'

Runaway Bride.

"You have a great resume... experience... education... history... but there is one thing we'd like to see that you don't have..." "A birth certificate issued sometime around 1975."

Old lady copying rebellious youths

"The gall of that woman! She's actually ENJOYING her retirement!"