Age Gap Explorer Pillows

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

I know he's old enough to be my father, but I checked with my mother, and he isn't

"The age difference doesn't worry me. I just love hearing your stories about your shipping company."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Kritik's Korner

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"We added it just for the millenials."

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

Lemonade/Prune-aid

Backpacker

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'