Age Gap Appreciator Pillows

"I'm dating an 144 year old woman..."

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

The Final Selfie

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

Old Tortoise

This whisky is 20 years old!

"Think, man! Think! How did you get this old so fast?!"

'He's a lot older than she is.'

"I've finally got my head together."

"'Till death do you part?"

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

'FQ...?'

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

"Mother's dying to met you."

"If you ask me, I'd say he was circa 1945 and she's circa 1965."

"... Yes, the night is still young. Unfortunately, you're not."

How Aging Affects Candles. . .

"This should be hilarious."

Fifty

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.

'God knows where you libido went!'

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

'Still the rhythm method; I simply adjust the speed of his pacemaker.'

"I bet those candles are heavier than the cake!"

'911..I'd like to report a crime...identity theft...I've become my mother!'

"You're not fooling anyone trying to cover up your age."

Yes, there was the age difference, but somehow he always managed to push the right buttons.

Ha Ha! Ha ha ha ha! What are you doing? We're watching one of our favorite movies. Technology has changed the meaning of some things, Ernie. When I was their age, seeing a film "on a mobile device" meant they were showing a movie on your airplane flight!

'There wasn't much of a collection I'm afraid. Most of the people who really liked you are dead.'

"What should I do with a younger woman. Such a young thing wouldn't even know what I mean when I talk about William Shatner as Captain Kirk!"

"Here’s a little walking-to-the-end-of-the-block money."

"She's cute. Seems nice. No ring on her finger."